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10 June 2009

Go Roo!

Violet has a little (big) cousin called Roo.
They are great mates.
Roo had an accident recently, and burned herself pretty badly.
It gave us all a terrible fright and we have been sending all kinds of positive vibes her way and prayers heavenwards.
Something worked.
Not only has she been dubbed 'the toughest kid ever' by hospital staff, but has now been given a reprieve from skin grafts by doctors, who are reportedly quite astounded at her little body's capacity for recovery.
I cannot begin to tell you how delighted we all are.
Gentle hugs to you, Roo.
(and to your worried Ma and Pa too)
Go, little champ!

8 June 2009

Up the Duff... do yourself a favour!

OK. Sorry. No, really.
I just don't think sometimes...
I quite forget that we speak a whole different lingo down here than that enunciated throughout the rest of the world's allegedly English-speaking civilisation...
And I used the words "Up the Duff".
My humblest apologies for springing that little corker on you unannounced.
*tugs forelock while backing away*
I need to hastily explain that I was not being shockingly rude ...
(really really sorry Debby, hope you didn't choke on somethin')
when I wished my sister a Happy Up the Duffness.
I was actually wishing her a good pregnancy.
Up the Duff = Pregnant.
In Oz anyway.
I made the Duff-ness bit up.
Thought it was cute.
Silly me.
...
And being me, I shall now commence to pass on the blame for this whole fiasco to a certain Aussie comedian/artist/author (hell if someone can hang onto those three titles successfully, in the Land of the Tall Poppy, they deserve what's coming to them!).
Her name is Kaz Cooke.
(Kaz is Aussie for Karen, in case anyone is wondering. Still with me?)
And Kaz Cooke wrote a little old book about a decade ago that helped me (and a few gazillion other pregnant chicks) giggle their way through their nine months of an ever-expanding girth and terror of the end result.
The name of that ticklish tome?
Up the Duff.
In it Kaz unleashes her razor, warped Aussie wit (and kooky caricatures) to illustrate the various stages of pregnancy. The heroine is called Hermoine the Modern Girl who (coincidentally) finds herself pregnant. It's a riot. One line in particular sticks in my mind (eight years after reading it):
At this stage, your foetus resembles something like a crustacean made of snot.
Ah, it still tickles me.
This is Kaz.
Her caption under this photo on her website reads:
Absurdly flattering photograph of Kaz taken zillions of years ago.
Now she's quite ancient.
...
How can you not love her?
She has also written this little publication aimed at helping women with all girly issues from their first period (or as we charmingly referred to 'it' at boarding school, The Rags) to the last. I suspect Hermoine is at it again for this book...
Kid Wrangling is another I suspect I might do well to invest in - Lord knows I needed a laugh tonight when I discovered Dash and Violet had concocted enough glue (i.e. plain flour and water) to put the Ark back together. And I reckon Girl Stuff (about all things adolescent female) might be handy as Violet rockets towards those teenage years. Even if I just throw it at the boys trying to climb in the bedroom windows!
...
There are plenty of other riotous offerings (check her site out to see what tickles you) but this one caught my eye after a certain recent rant that took place on this blog.
I suspect Hermoine might not be a Botox fan...
but she is looking mighty perky here.
Hmmm... I shall just have to read it and get back to you.
...
So there we go.
That's my excuse and I am sticking with it:
I'm an Aussie and I read Kaz Cooke.
I can be blamed for nothing.
:-)

Birthday blooms...

Some blooms for Jean-Jeanie today...
Whose birthday we finally celebrated this weekend...
With a couple of bunches of tulips nabbed from Woolies,
and a loud gathering of family and pasta and wine and carrot cake...

It was a rich and delicious affair - food by Jeanie, entertainment by her rellies...
We just weren't sure whether to sing
"I Love a Rainy Night"
"When the Saints Go Marching In"
or
"Tip-toe through the Tulips"
We settled on the latter.
And a stiff scotch
(or glass of milk, depending on our personal requirements).
Let's just say life is never boring in the bush!
Happy belated 40th darling...
(And Happy Up the Duff-ness, while we are here)
...
NB All non-Aussie readers: "Up the Duff" explained shortly...

6 June 2009

The Don

A Hollywood movie should be made about blokes like 'the Don'.
Real, funny, affectionate, larger-than-life, fun-to-be-around, family blokes.
I knew Don from when I was a whippersnapper.
He looked tall to me back then...
tall and lanky and full of grins and snappy jokes.
...
He was always to be found at the woodchop arena, competing, urging on his many family members in their events, talking up the young guns chasing his tail as 'the man to beat'.
He was the one on the mike, geeing up the crowd, coaxing donations out of the onlookers to help 'pay' for the schoolkids picking up woodchips and off-cuts between woodchop events.
He had six children, innumerable nieces and nephews,
many many grandchildren.
He adored them all.
He just liked people - he was charming as hell but dependable too.
Happy and a good listener.
A champion storyteller.
A great mate.
...
This week, the sprightly 73-year-old was competing at another show (it happened to be the very town he began his woodchopping careers so many years ago). He and his brother had just got into the final of an event ('not bad for a couple of old codgers', I can almost hear him quip) and after posing for a photo with an old friend, he was lining up with axe in hand to the block. He never took that chop. Surrounded by his friends and family, he was instead helped into an ambulance attended by his niece.
And it was there he took his final breath.
Quickly, without fuss, he left.
...
Yesterday they buried him.
It was not without fuss.
I wasn't there, so my descriptions are second hand.
Bear with me. I have heard such vivid recounts of the day that I feel I might have been standing there too. Hopefully the emotion won't blur the accuracy too badly!
...
They laid his body to rest in an old cemetery on his cattle property, set in picturesque hills amongst the Great Divide, his beloved Santa Gertrudis cattle dotting the hillsides.
More than a thousand people trailed in beside the old homestead,
the SES volunteers guiding cars off the highway,
assuming all traffic on the main road was attending this heavy-hearted event.
(They were right.)
Apparently it was kind of like a show.
Same people, different reason for gathering.
There because they loved and respected this wise-cracking 73-year-old.
All his grandchildren lined up with special treasures to lay on his coffin.
A bowl filled with mandarins,
(always on hand for a snack when Don chopped)
The whip he always carried over his shoulder when he mustered,
(he said he felt a bit naked without it)
And the girl who mustered with him brought his horse,
bridled and saddled as if to ride.
Then, as they said their farewells, she uncinched the girth, slid the saddle and cloth from his back, and unbuckled the bridle. The horse galloped (they say) off from the crowd, and down to a mob of cattle in the paddock nearby. It rounded them up, around and around, as if it's master were still astride.
There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd.
(And just quietly, there's not one to be found at this computer either!)
...
But in his inimitable style, Don's wit shone through the sadness.
It was announced that he had requested to be buried feet first...
'So he could see which of you buggers actually made it to the funeral!'
And I imagine the ripple of laughter of a thousand people drying out the tears.
If I had been there, I reckon I would have thought about his influence on my family.
I would have recalled him encouraging my brother to weild an axe, to hone his craft, to enjoy his new sport.
Then the image of him, quietly applauding my son in his imitation of the 'big boys' at a hacked-at block beside the arena, might have come to mind.

I would have assured his loved ones (in their grief) of something they already know:

that his legacy will live on.

In the woodchop arena. And beyond.

R.I.P. The Don.

Just a great bloke.

5 June 2009

Her eyes...

I often imagine she has old eyes...
whatever that means...
Perhaps it means that they seem
knowing and watchful and hard to fool?
Because sometimes they look clean through you,
and sometimes they are afire with brimstone and wrath,

other moments see them

questioning, impatient, unwavering...

and then sometimes...

those same eyes light with the delight of being a child,

anticipating good and right and just.

May her 'old eyes' hang onto that light of delight

for as long as we all shall live.

Amen.

1 June 2009

Delight in the details: the anti-anti-aging post

I have to admit to being a little hot under the collar lately...
about all this anti-aging attitude on TV.
One Aussie show in particular - Ten Years Younger in Ten Days - has really bothered me. It promotes botox injections and surgical eye lifts among it's 'tools' to 'improve' people's appearance. It bothered me not ONLY because I think of makeovers involving surgery as 'Only in America' activities (sorry my Yankee friends) but because it seems to reflect how society (the global village society) looks upon the more mature citizens of this world.
The ones that have actually DONE SOMETHING.
...
Now I am not devoid of vanity - I make the occasional effort to look good. I have no issue with people making the most of their looks, in buffing up, fixing teeth, feeling better about themselves. (Heck I should do some more of that myself!).
But when we clear our faces of expression, of our trademark lines and natural responses, aren't we clearing our personal history and even a piece of who we are?
...
What does it say when we decide someones worth is in how young they look?
What does it tell our kids when we elevate lack of laugh lines to 'must have' status?
What does it give away about our own sense of being when immobile brows and surgically-enhanced eyes - to the point it's possible our own families wouldn't recognise us - is seen as essential to our state of mind?
Something bloody frightening, that's what it says.
...
You know, I don't get het up much - and I really have liked Sonya Kruger (the presenter of this TYYiTD) who is generally pretty and sharp and funny. But I swear - if I hear her say
"Your kids won't know you"
(and giggle like it's a good thing)
one more time - I will scream.
I take photos of people and things. Old and young.
And let me tell you something, Ms Kruger:
It all gets more beautiful (in my eyes) the older anything is.
Sure the paint might not be perfect and line-free,
but the stories of adventure and life and strength lie in each crack, each flake, each non-sheer inch that faces the world, make it something to gaze at in quiet appreciation.
...
And sure, the odd hinge might be a little rusty...
...but it's changed patina echoes the incredible job it has done throughout the years
and the weathered pieces surrounding it have a charm no buffed-up new planks could possibly hope to share.
...

And, in certain lights, the surreal glow of aging metal - earned through years of service and dependability and practicality - can pretty much stop you in your tracks. The elegance and character born of years of gravity and the elements is impossible to achieve with anything less than the teamwork of Mother Nature and Father Time.
...

Even weeds rejuvenate naturally with the seasons - beauty in the bloom and in the fading flower. One no better than the other.
...

Why do we think it's any different for humans?

Why can't we cherish & revere faces that have stood the Tests of Time,

as we do weathered sheds

and antique furniture

and fine wine?

Damn it.

I think we should.