One thing you need to know about my family, is that we are a competitive bunch.
Which is fine is we are in an environment in which we know the rules. It can be a hinderance when we are trying out new ventures. Disappointment reigns supreme. Of course, we don't let it get in the way of having a red hot go at whatever endeavour presents itself.
(OK, karaoke is the one exception here - singing just ain't our thing I'm afraid!)
And when physical impediments prevent us from trying out something new ourselves, we are not above sending our kids in on our behalf. (And when I say 'we' here, I really mean 'me').
...
When we got the chance to change our jeans-and-boots for togs-and-towels, we didn't mess around. This change in attire can shock the onlooker slightly (our suntans tend to stop at mid-bicep and stretch from mid calf to mid-thigh - known colloquially as a 'bushie tan'). I admit to resorting to a tan-in-a-bottle to try and even up the view a little. It's a necessary public service I perform.
...
Among the activities we jammed into our three-day weekend beach holiday was a surf lesson.
OK. When I say 'we' I am being a bit royal.
I actually mean Dash.
(Keep up with me people!)
The thought of me attempting to clamber up on top of a moving board would not be pretty. Not pretty at all. And no amount of spray tan could help, I'm afraid.
Also I am not a fan of sand. Gritty and uncomfortable stuff.
I am so NOT a beach babe!!
....
Enough of the prelude...
Here are our little soldiers/surfers trooping down to the beach...
Dash has that
'oh dear, I don't know what I am doing here' kinda look about him...
And this is the
'I wonder if anyone would notice if I dropped this end of the board and snuck away' look. He didn't.
He knew his mother was recording the event.
His chances of being unnoticed were pretty much zero.
Poor kid.
After paying close attention to the demonstration
(issued by the quintessential Aussie surfer dude)
it was time for a beach-surf practice.
Students 'paddling' furiously through the sand...
The thought of that sand under my fingernails makes me wince.
Dash didn't seem to mind it at all though...
Then it was time to LEAP to FEET.
Being old and crotchety and lame, this was the part which ruled me out.
I don't do leaping.
Then the inevitable... trying out the moves in the surf.
It was pretty cold and Dash took some convincing to actually give it a go.
(Despite eating like a horse, my child has zero body fat. And he goes quite blue unless he keeps it moving when he is in the water...)
Luckily Mr Incredible can be quite persuasive and after a couple of false starts...
Gads, I didn't realise the board looked quite this threatening when I took this shot
(editing photos is a downright shocking process sometimes!)
... anyway, Dash soon found those feet and was away...
This was just a few minutes into the surfing proper
and he was the first of the class to get up...
and then did it again...
...and again!
'Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's surfin' now...'
I was cheering and hollering from the sand.
And our quintessential surfer dude teacher joined in the applause...
I'm not sure this 'side-foot' style would win any '10s' against Kelly Slater,
but the board continued happily along in front of the small waves...
And our little man cruised in to beach like a pro.
...
And as his lips turned blue and I high-fived him (I'm a dag, I know!) and wrapped him in a towel and congratulated him on doing so well, you know what he said to me?
"But MUM..."
*teeth chattering furiously*
"I wasn't any good...
didn't you see?
I fell OFF!"
...
Good to see that competitive spirit is alive and well...
*sigh*
